Let’s Solve These Problems, America!
The poor are hungry in America.
Their numbers would fill stadiums
throughout this prosperous land.
And feral cats are running wild,
eating songbirds in our yards,
plucking koi from garden ponds.
What can Americans do?
We can trap those feral cats,
knock them on the noggin, skin
and marinade them overnight,
barbecue them in the morning,
visit homeless camps
and invite the poor to stadiums
across America to feast at halftime.
Let them eat and give them traps
to catch their own feral cats
and become self-sustaining.
Next, to solve the problem of Ebola
we can make Liberia the 51st state,
send food stamps to our new citizens
and enroll them in Obamacare.
There’s room in Texas should
they decide to emigrate.