More often than not, the good child tends to be overlooked. They are pacified easily. They are more accepting of situation and circumstance. They do well on their own. In fact, they seem to be much more independent in certain ways than other children are.When the good child does get into trouble, we tend to offer disappointment, as if they surely must have known better, which in the end offers them a very good reason to stress.

Overall, we do not notice what bad things they have done, as they are usually quieter, not to mention the fact that we let things like that drop because they are so good so much of the time. These beautiful “thank God everyday for you” children are often left to raise themselves in the discipline department, something that in the end is not necessarily a good thing at all.

Yes, it is true. While most children are naturally boisterous and get themselves into trouble, there are those quiet children who seem rarely to get into trouble. Call them little angels or call them wise souls, either way you look at it, they are “the good child” of the family.

Choices

While each child is different, and therefore ought to be treated in a manner that suites their personality, age, etc., the basics still apply to each and every one of them, provided discipline is used appropriately and adheres to any disabilities they may have. The needs of children with disabilities and our responses to their actions must be taken into consideration; another topic for another time, but one that ought to be kept in mind.

So it is with the good child. They too need discipline (true regardless of the fact that what many people consider to be “discipline” is needed on a less frequent basis). When disciplining the good child, keep in mind that they are going to scrutinize every aspect of your disciplining with as much fervor as any other child, internal as that scrutiny and fervor may be, and that just like any child, discipline must be fault-specific as well as consistent.

A proud child’s smile goes a long way.For all children, however, discipline in its punishment form, is by far NOT the only form of discipline readily available to any parent. While using a suitable form of punishment as discipline is necessary, juxtaposing praise as discipline, or what I like to call Praise Discipline, is highly effective and leaves positive, lasting results. I am certainly not speaking of any sort of fake or overly done Praise Discipline. I am speaking of genuine appreciation of the actions taken by your child at any given moment. I am speaking of driving home good behavior by acknowledgement of said behavior, no matter how great or how small. And this praise and appreciation can be for the simple fact of their remembering to do something that they were suppose to, or for something that was a smart choice, as much as for doing what they were told to do, whether in a timely manner or not.

Yes, praise is a tactical form of discipline that ought to be used alongside, though not at the same time as, punishment, and whenever possible, should be used much more often. This is especially important and useful to keep in mind when dealing with the good child. They need Praise Discipline as much as any other child, and thankfully for the parent or caregiver responsible for the good child, there are more excuses to use this technique, especially if you keep your eyes open as opposed to taking the good child’s good actions for granted. Taking a good child’s actions for granted is just as neglectful as inconsistency in punishment, ignoring, or being overbearing in any way to any child.

More than one facet to any situation

As parents and caregivers, it is important to be able to look at each action in separate parts. For example, perhaps you told your child to wash their hands. They took a very long time doing it, a fact that frustrates you. Your child ends up washing their hands, finally. Though you may be at the brink of insanity, at that point, they DID wash their hands, and that ought to be praised, perhaps with a, “Thank you for washing your hands. Much appreciated.” Simple as that, and in your own words, mind you. As with everything, forced or false words come through negatively as much as one hopes the positive shines through.

There is nothing like the smile of a child. With patience, appropriate discipline, and consistency, the love you’ve shown and the pride you’ve helped instill will shine through for years to come.The fact that you are focusing on the good behavior, stresses that good behavior, and you are more likely to see it happen more often. Simple is best. Keeping your words minimal when praising is most important. They should be no more animated, overly expressed, or overly worded, than any other discipline situation. That expression of energy should be kept for thoughtful explanations about life, love, and the like. Adding too many words or mixing them in with another issue or aspect is a lose-lose situation. Nothing will be accomplished. Thus, another reason why being able to dissect situations and actions is an important thing for parents and caregivers to be able to do.

As they say, “Choose your battles”. I am a firm believer of this. It is not necessary for parents and caregivers to use each situation as a life lesson in one. Defeat is eminent when one chooses this path. Allow each situation to speak for one life lesson at a time and you will be further along in raising a child who will be able to make the right choices in life…, which is the ultimate goal here. And believe me, there will be plenty of situations that offer the chance to make points and to teach lessons for most of life’s possible routes without over doing one in particular… For what, then, would you have left? You will be a broken and discarded mp3 player in one month’s time. Compared to a possible twenty years or more, your chances at being a trustworthy source for anything, well…, I hope you catch my drift.

Happy parenting!