My son is eleven years old and in the fifth grade. Fortunately for us, his school teaches outside the box, and focuses on teaching through exploratory and life learning themes and activities. Each year they go on short campouts until they hit middle school. That’s when the real fun begins. They’ve learned more and have prepared more, and are ready, finally, in the fifth grade, for a whole week of wilderness (longer and more often in seventh and eighth grades). Parents were asked to make an entry in their child’s journal expressing any feelings or concerns about this long amount of time away from home in the middle of nowhere, and what they want their child to come away with. Here was my response.

I have not had too much time to think about the five days my son will have away from me. In my mind, I have written and rewritten this journal entry, subconsciously for days. I will continue to rewrite it for the rest of my life. Here is why…

This will be the first time Zaphron will be away from us for such a long period of time. This is the main reason. It is, I think, that attachment to his physical presence that makes this fact so difficult to think about fully. Yet at the same time there is no question in my mind that now is the perfect time in his life for all this to be happening.

In thinking about this separation business, theoretically speaking, children are away from their families and are with their peers and teachers, or are sleeping, longer than they are with their families. This is true even if you include weekends into the scenario. Ah, but here comes the tricky part: We as parents know (usually, hopefully) where they are, what they are doing, who they are with, their routine. We know how to get to them, what route we can take, how long it will take… You get the picture. It all stems from the known and the “routine”. We think about the worst case scenarios and we have experienced enough, in one way or another, and thought things through enough; so that we have a rough idea of the things that might happen, the worst that can happen, and we are, if you will, “routine”ly prepared. Most of us do not have that mental preparation ability when it come to natural wilderness environments, not to mention longer than normal distance from your child is a fright in general.

For Zaphron, nature is familiar. It is sought after. It is hands on as well as introspective. It is explored, but even more so, it is unexplored. Nature is filled with excitement and always will because of its unknowns, just like life. I want him to realize the similarities between the two.

Some of his main concerns now are: do I have enough clothes to bring, enough socks, and “It’s the longest I’ve ever been away; you won’t see me for five days!” (The latter quote in response to why I originally wrote that, “In the scheme of things, five days is not a long time.”) I had to explain that it is the second week of vacation that “vacation” really sinks into your bones; not to mention 5 days out of a lifetime is a miniscule amount of time compared to the length of time (and perhaps space) that he will really be away from me, one day. Those were the closest examples I could think of to compare with at that moment. In retrospect I see that I could have also told him that it is the second week of school that things start to feel normal; this would have possibly been a more tangible explination to him.

At any rate, for everything that any of us have had to say about this trip, from first thought, to planning and preparing, to actually doing it, it all brings me back to nature. It is from nature that we take examples, explanations, motivations, make correlations, (I could go on forever). One could also say that that it mirrors life, growth, development, etc.

And so my goal for Zaphron is that he experiences and lets things happen; takes it all in without worrying; that he enjoys, relaxes, and appreciates. This will be a physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, real life experience of his very own; with others that will have their very own experiences. I want him to one day realize that it is this full experience (from all this planning and thinking and preparing, to the time he comes home again, and for a while after) that will act as a guide in his life, will help sculpt his decisions, will help him plan and react to life, and will be the source of so many correlations and understandings in the future. He will continually “find himself” in part because of this time, this “wilderness experience”.

So I will probably read over this in my mind and change things here and there and find better words and so on and so forth. While he is gone I will probably go over my emotions a million and one times too. I am certain of a few things, however. For a start, both of us will grow and have much to share when it’s all said and done. And perhaps, at least as far as time away from each other goes, we will both be a little more prepared about eight to ten years from now.

Coming back was quite the culture shock for all of them. But this was a good thing. It sometimes takes extremes to make an impression.

I have to say, they looked wonderful. Their skin was fresh and rosy, they were calm, gentle, relaxed in demeanor, thoughtful. This was a wonderful thing. They had transformed. They were natural children. Their “peace” with life and themselves was wonderful to behold. Now if only they could stay that way…